Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. During this time we usually think about an intimate partner.
However, there’s an aspect of loving yourself that is even more important. I’ve discussed this in a previous post as well. I’m doing it again now because it is so important. After all, if you don’t love yourself, how would anybody else be able to love you? Throughout the day, we’re constantly having internal dialogues going on in our heads.
When I check to see how my clients talk to themselves, internally or externally, it’s oftentimes very harsh. They call themselves dumb, stupid, a loser, fat, weird and unlovable, to name a few. If you do this, catch yourself and immediately apologize. Doing this breaks the faulty habit and begins the shift to a new pattern. Say, “I’m sorry.” Apologizing demonstrates self-love and self-respect. If doing that sounds awkward, ask yourself why it doesn’t seem awkward talking critically to yourself.
If you are in a relationship be aware of how you talk to your partner. I was working with a couple this week where the husband was recalling a situation with his wife. He used the word “stupid,” almost subconsciously when describing the week’s calendar his wife made for their appointments. Later on, when discussing another event, he used the word “little” when referring to her get-together with girlfriends – “little get together…”
This Valentine’s weekend, make a concerted effort to talk nicely to yourself and those around you. Use more kind words. You’ll notice a physiological shift where you’re not annoyed all the time with yourself and others. Your environments will be more loving and peaceful. As always, it starts with you. May this Valentine’s Day be the start of a new, healthy relationship with yourself. Begin talking nicely to yourself like you’re your best friend.