Not Feeling Like You Deserve Something
Occasionally, people come to me questioning if they deserve success or good in their lives. Some science indicates these thoughts may come from past abuse, neglect and even trauma.
It’s important to first distinguish we aren’t talking about a privileged life. When someone says, “I often wonder if I deserve success” or “a good life,” the key word there is deserve. Deserve can mean entitled. It can mean an undeserved reward. It’s common for people to have dreams and it’s common for people to feel unworthy if they didn’t work for something. At times, the effort one would need to put in gets lost when people see themselves achieving something.
The key is to start doing. Get rid of faulty, disempowering thinking. Take the first step. Taking the first step should make you feel good already. Most times, one step leads to another. Momentum. Do the research. Make a phone call. Sign up. Study. Make a mistake. Rectify it. Laugh at yourself. Fail. Learn from it. Laugh some more. Enjoy the process.
When that takes shape, you’re not even focused on an outcome any longer. You’re just doing. Eventually, the outcome will arrive. Looking back, you’ll remember the arduous journey and all the times you almost quit.
Some will use this achievement as a building block and will keep going because it unlocked even more desired dreams and untapped potential. Taking the first step alone can make you feel better about yourself. One big hang-up people have is being ignorant about how to do something. Making one call or doing an internet search can answer many questions.
Accomplishments don’t magically fall out of the sky in most cases. My clients, with this mindset, see themselves or even someone else being successful and happy without understanding the work it took to get there. If you see and appreciate the amount of time, money, and/or effort you’d invest in achieving the desired outcome, you’ll absolutely know that you deserve all the success and happiness that follows.